Divorces when there are children involved are undoubtedly some of the most difficult and complicated situations for families to handle. When two parents decide to separate, children are often left in the middle, wondering how and why their lives are going to drastically change. With so much instability, the entire family unit can be disrupted in a way which may leave children emotionally scarred for years to come. However, as with anything else in life, post-divorce parenting is ever-changing and there are always new ways to handle the same challenges, perhaps with a better outcome.
Bird nesting, or nesting, is a kind of living arrangement which has been recently gaining steam as a popularized way of handling the complexities of child custody after a divorce. One of the most difficult aspects of divorce for children is the constant moving back and forth between mom and dad’s new place. Children lose their sense of stability, and are living out of a suitcase for most of their lives. This uprooting can be damaging for children, adolescents, and even young adults. Parents oftentimes don’t realize the severe implications of this kind of lifestyle because they are relatively settled down in their new apartment or residence after divorce.
What Is Nesting?
Nesting solves all of these problems and more. Some parents are claiming it is the healthiest way to handle child custody and divorce, because it means the least amount of change for the title. This unusual living arrangement requires 3 separate living spaces--one is the originally shared home, and two are separate living spaces for both parents. The children live full-time in the home they’ve always known and loved, while parents share their time in the home by alternating who gets to live there and when.
Both parents rent out an apartment very close by, and split their living between the home and the new living space. This arrangement allows children to change literally nothing about their living situation--in fact, author of the New York Times article which discusses this parenting plan, Beth Behrendt, states she told her children it would be like one parent is on a business trip while the other stays home.
There is no packing, unpacking, moving, and constant change for the children involved, which is the biggest selling point of this rather uncommon living arrangement. Certain factors need to be considered, of course, such as whether both parties can afford to find other places to live in the nearby areas. If not, perhaps living with parents or family can be a solid alternative as well. The point of nesting, Behrendt says, is to keep routines, schedules, and overall lifestyles the same. Children won’t lose their sense of familiarity in their neighborhood, nor will they have to make new friends at a new school. They will keep their same family home, and instead will just see parents entirely separately.
Contact Our Divorce & Custody Lawyers
If you and your ex-spouse are currently struggling to understand which child custody arrangement is best for you, please don’t hesitate to contact our compassionate and experienced lawyers at Eiges and Orgel, PLLC. We have seen every possible situation for child custody after a divorce and after hearing the details of your case, we can help you decide whether nesting, or another arrangement, is best for you and your family.
To speak to a representative today, call us at (347) 848-1850.