If you are in an unhappy marriage, is the only solution a divorce? If we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we want a joyful relationship that will stand the test of time. However, when we are in despair or when we feel a hunger for love that we can’t get, divorce may seem like the best option to get away from the pain. However, there are some things that should be considered.
Your Marriage is an Investment
Studies have shown that a good relationship improves your joy, your wealth, and your health. Divorce will take a toll on all aspects of your life. It is worth it to consider seeing a marriage counselor before deciding to get a divorce.
However, you want to find a marriage counselor, not a divorce counselor. Some marriage counselors don’t have years of experience under their belts to provide good advice. Others received their training during a time when individual happiness was taught to take precedence over family happiness.
They may encourage their clients, perhaps unconsciously, to take steps toward divorce before they look at all the alternatives. You have already invested in your marriage, why not take the time to invest in a good marriage counselor?
You Dream of Better Days
Anyone who’s been married for any length of time has occasionally wondered about what life would be like without their spouse. It’s only human. The problem is when those feelings cross over to feelings of wanting to actually end your marriage. Happily married people do not spend their time contemplating divorce.
Divorce isn’t a random thought. Considering long term solutions like ending your marriage and even going so far as to make an exit strategy, isn’t something that people just casually wonder about. If you are thinking about what life would be like divorced, then it’s a sure sign that your marriage is on the rocks.
There’s No Trust
Trust is the foundation that holds all relationships together. If you don’t trust your spouse, or they don’t trust you, neither of you can feel safe in your marriage. If you don’t feel safe, you’re not going to have a fulfilling marriage.
There’s the lack of trust that comes when your spouse doesn’t do what they say they are going to do. There’s the lack of trust that comes when you or your spouse is overly possessive or jealous of the other, and then there’s the lack of trust that comes from an affair.
While a lack of trust can destroy your marriage over time, the good news is that trust is something that you can rebuild. It takes time, energy, and commitment, but a lack of trust, in and of itself, does not have to be a sign of divorce.
Is Divorce the Answer?
For many people, divorce is not the answer. Temporary separation, marriage counseling, and improving the lines of communication could be what’s needed to save the marriage. Don’t rush things. Take a step back from the situation. This may give you and your partner the time needed to think things through.
There are some situations, especially where the health and well-being of a spouse and children are at risk, where divorce is the best option. If you need legal help with your New York divorce, contact Eiges & Orgel, PLLC us by visiting our website or calling our team to set up a consultation. We can provide you with the information you need to protect yourself during the divorce process.
Have questions about the divorce process? Call us today at (347) 848-1850 to speak to our skilled New York divorce lawyers.